The Wellness Edition No. 17 - Selfcare is a full-time Job
Hey lovely lady, welcome to the 17th Wellness Edition. Today we talk about self-love here and how hard it is for some us. In our society it is assumed that self-love comes automatically it seems - but I struggled a lot here ever since I was a little girl to love myself and to treat myself well and with self-love and self-respect. Since I am an avid blog reader, I noticed that many of us women struggle here. But where does this stem from? I think the problem is our society. Ever since we are little girls we are told that we are only lovable if we behave in a certain way, dress a certain way and just be the way society imposes it on us. If we don't, we get rejected and some very sensitive souls in consequence reject themselves and that is the point where the whole self-love and self-respect thing is not working out anymore and becomes a real inner struggle.
Self-love is a full-time job if you did not grow up with a healthy self-esteem and never realised how precious you are. That's why I am saying it is a full-time job because first of all you have to learn this very profound skill of loving yourself and then you have to start applying it every day. It took me a very long time to learn it and to get to the point where I am now. Believe me, I am 34 years old now and lately I got pretty good in the self-love department but all the time before it was a major struggle for me. I treated myself worse than I would have ever treated anyone I loved. This is a major problem. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it is up to you to change it, because nobody else can do it for you. Also you teach people to treat you right if you treat yourself with self-love and self-respect because then you will never ever accept again anyone treating you bad.
Even after this horrible breakup I got back onto my feet pretty quick again because I learned to love and respect myself in the first place. I focused on myself, I went on a cleaning and decluttering spree in my apartment and now have the beautiful light and airy home I always dreamt of. Now I focus on blogging and designing again ever since I am able to work again and this feeds my soul. Designing, writing and photography make me incredibly happy and energise me.
Learning to love yourself is a quite difficult process if you were not blessed with this ability at the first place. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. So start with the small things in your daily routine. Make sure you set boundaries. Learn to say no if there is something you don't want. Treat yourself with pure love. Do something for you every day that makes you happy. Make sure you get enough sleep. Eat enough, don't restrict calories, because your body and soul need fuel. Go outside, get sunlight and fresh air. Being in nature is good for your wellbeing, especially if it is a sunny beautiful day. Start a hobby that feeds your soul. Go for a swim or make sure once a week you treat yourself with some SPA-time, that worked for me great on my journey to learn to love myself.
Keep your home tidy and clean because it will make you feel so much better. Believe me, I know what I am talking about, I used to have way too much stuff that I never needed - all it did was paralyse me. Now my place is super tidy and clean and that is energising. So make sure you make your home light and airy, who wants to live in a cluttered place anyways that is draining all your energy? Not me! Also it reflects your emotional state quite well - if you live in a cluttered and dirty place, chances are high that your emotional state is pretty messed up as well. So make sure to keep it tidy and clean. The less stuff you have, the easier it is to keep it organised and clean.
If you are unhappy with your job or in your relationship or friendships, change it. Think about a strategy how you can improve your situation but don't stay stuck in feeling unworthy and unhappy. Surround yourself with people who want your best. Get away from toxic people who make you feel miserable or treat you miserable. Don't stay, because you deserve better. Put the focus back on you and away from others. Focus on your wellbeing. Treat yourself with self-love every day. Go for a grocery shopping spree and then cook yourself a nice meal that feeds your body and soul. Set goals that motivate and energise you, this can be concerning your work or also goals like traveling, learning a new language or another new skill. Just make sure you always move forward and don't stagnate because stagnation causes misery in my opinion. If you have serious issues, get some counselling. I spent 10 years in therapy and this helped me so much, I can only recommend it, I would not be where I am now without counselling. There is nothing bad about getting some professional help if you struggle sorting certain issues out by yourself, just make sure you find a wonderful human being you want to work with.
Once you start applying self-love in your daily routine it will come automatically but it is a learning process and it takes some time. So be patient and don't pressure yourself but apply it every day. And you will see, one day it became normal to you to treat yourself well and that is where I want you to be at a certain point!
Dear lady, I with you a wonderful start of this new week and please make sure to incorporate self-love into your daily routine from now on. You ever struggled here as well? What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments.
With love and with lots of self-love, xx Phyllis