The Wellness Edition No. 54 // Toxic Traits
Let’s talk about toxic traits today! Let’s face it, we are surrounded by so many people who have a fair share of toxic traits. Hey, I can totally admit that in my dark times I also carried my package of toxic traits around with me. Not because I was a bad person but because I was at a dark place at that time feeling very insecure and depressed, being a people-pleaser and also not realising where I should have set boundaries. Boundaries for myself but also for others. It took me a long time to learn…but I accepted the challenge and I learned and still earn. I realised that in some areas of my life I was in a very toxic state as well and I was very drawn to toxic people at that time. Well, not really a big surprise.
Even today I am still surprised how many people with their more than obvious traits still surround me for quite some time. Maybe not a lot of time but still some time. OK, I can spot the red flags much much much quicker now than I could before but sometimes I am still surprised of how many folks with toxic traits hang around with us.
What are toxic traits? I’d say toxic traits describe a kind of behaviour that is very toxic for others and most of the time also for the person who behaves in a toxic way. It is not a behaviour that serves anyone unless we have to deal with a narcissist who is self-centered and manipulative. And hey, those people certainly aren’ the kind of folks we want to have around us, am I right? And even in their case, they might think and feel their toxic behaviour serves them at that moment but afterwards things might also not work out for them the way they expected. I don’t know, it is just a theory. I know quite a few narcissistic people and I highly doubt their life ever got any better through their shady and manipulative behaviour.
So, why did I end up writing about toxic traits today? Because I was just thinking of the kind of people I know and used to know who brought a fair share or toxic traits along. I try to get away from those folks as much as I can but sometimes it is very hard to minimise being exposed to them - like for example in work relationships or business relationships. My goal is to come to a point in business where I don’t have to deal with toxic people and their toxic traits anymore. I have to say it got much much better for me already here but occasionally they still step into my life and I have to deal with them then.
End of the story is that it is important to focus on people who you well, who make you feel well, who treat you well. We can’t avoid toxic people all together unfortunately but at least we can try to have an influence on avoiding them as much as we possibly can. And that makes quite a difference for feeling well on a daily basis I think