The Love Files No.14 // The Man-Child
So, lately my girls and I were talking a lot about the kind of guy we call a man-child. It is the kind of man with Peter Pan syndrome, The guy who still behaves like a child even though he is in his 30ies, 40ies and continue the list. The one who fears commitment and responsibility like hell. That my dear is a man-child. And it is a global thing, I had the conversation with my girls who are from the USA, Argentina, Uruguay, Poland, Russia, Germany and we all come to the same conclusion. Those men are all over the globe and dealing with them is very hard.
The last few years I spent with such a man-child and he’s totally doing his thing in the most childish way ever, that is absolutely certain. When I talked with my mom about a few of the issues I had with him she immediately said, hey he is like a child and you are the one mothering him, that shit just ain’t healthy. Same thing my grandma said.
We can’t resolve parental issues we experienced with a parent through a relationship. This shit just ain’t working. It is doomed to fail. So, I guess it is easy to estimate that he has mother issues and I have father issues and now through his disastrous overlapping/rebounding/cheating and escaping commitment telenovela style breakup all of those issues slowly creep up to the surface. He is/was running away and rebounding with an interchangeable random stranger while I am here all by myself going through the daily pain (I know, it’ll get better slowly) but all of this is about trying to subconsciously fix errors and bad experiences from early childhood trauma. He can cheat/overlap/leave me for as many random strangers fitting into ‘his type’ as he wants, but this will never solve the underlying cause of the issue, which is unresolved parental issues from his childhood. He is not even aware of why he is doing what he is doing because he just runs for his life from every troubling aspect with the maturity of a 6 year old.
I at least try to comprehend, progress and learn from what is going on here. It is painful but going through this for sure will open new doors and perspectives for me.
Ladies, rest assured that being with a man-child is going to cost you tons of nerves and if you see the red flags before becoming emotionally involved, then better be safe than sorry. This shit ain’t worth it and in the end the one suffering will be you when he is pulling off his man-child behaviour and starts treating you bad, or even chopping you off, overlapping, diving into future faking and fast forwarding with random strangers just because he can’t grow up and commit. For staying sane don’t stay with a man-child…hello this also is a friendly reminder to myself once the man-child crawls back begging for another chance. I commit to grown-up men but not to a man-child / Peter Pan.