The Wellness Edition No.63 // The Single Life

So, I realised that it has been 3 months now that I joined the Single Club again, so I wanted to take some time and to reflect on how it feels going back to The Single Life. I did not choose to join the club again but looking at it now, it is not a bad thing. Before I was in this 4 year relationship, which was my longest relationship, I never really minded being single. Ok, in the past few years I got used to being with a man so when it abruptly ended, of course I first was in utter shock and felt pretty lonely because I was used to spending time with him and being around him and now I got used to being by myself again. Thankfully, because the first few weeks, especially the nights and the weekends, were rough.

There are actually many good things about being single I realised once again. First of all you put the focus back on yourself instead of putting the focus on your partner and yourself. No, now it is just about you and that is fine. You gain an amazing freedom, you can do whatever you want and whenever you want. You are only responsible for yourself and not for anyone else. Friendships will improve because you get to spend so much more time with your friends than you did before when you were still tied to someone else.

Being single gives you the option to completely reinvent yourself and to become an even better version of yourself. I defined new goals like moving back to Spain again ever since he left me, because before I felt I could not leave because of him. So hey, now I am free to leave and to live where ever I want and however I want. Also I decluttered my wardrobe and now have a bunch of amazing new clothes that I would have never bought if I was still with him. I have more energy than I did when I was with him because his lethargic depressed state was quite draining for me as well, also the waiting around for him finally giving me what I expected from him (looking for a new apartment for us, getting married) the waiting games, that are draining, are finally over as well. So, that also is a good thing. Overall my energy levels are better now and I do much more for myself than I did before. I make sure to get lots of fresh air and to walk a lot, I eat a way that is a lot more pro-metabolic and thyroid supporting which is also something I did not do when I was still with him.

So I’d say being single gives you a great chance to take better care of yourself, to become the person you really want to be and also to reinvent yourself. I so don’t understand why being single always gets such a bad reputation in our society because let’s be honest here, being single can be a great thing if you let it be a great thing. There are so many good things about being single, so why does society always focus on the bad ones?

I am not feeling lonely either. I have my amazing friends and family and I am seeing a guy from time to time and that is the perfect combination right now. I am going out a lot with friends for dinner and drinks, much more than before and I really enjoy it. The no strings attached thing with the guy I am currently seeing also works for me because I don’t have any expectations and just enjoy the time we spend together, also it helped me a lot to get over this breakup. Until I met him I was still very sad and kind of devastated but that completely changed then. For now I just enjoy the now with him when we see each other and that’s it. No strings attached, no expectations, no disappointment.

So let’s write down all the great aspects about being single;

• you put the focus back on yourself

• it is great to reinvent yourself and to become the best version of yourself, the person you always wanted to be

• friendships can improve since you now have more time for your friends

• you have more time for things you care about like your hobbies and interests

• you can take your self-care and self-love to a completely new level since you now only have to take good care of yourself and not anymore anyone else

• you can do whatever you want and whenever you want

• being single is so much better than being trapped in an unhappy relationship

• you might get rid of false friends that were part of your life when you were still in a relationship

• perfect chance to meet new people and to make new good friends

• also perfect chance to meet a new partner who might be a much better fit than your ex

• you can learn to love yourself instead of loving someone who just takes your love and walks away with it leaving you bruised and broken (when you are prone to dating narcissists then learning to love yourself is crucial because you would not date them if this aspect wasn’t lacking)

• you can use your new free time for things that make you happy and only YOU

• you can get closer to yourself, love yourself more and discover who you really are and who you really want to be

So I hope you can see all the good aspects about living the single life now. I know, the beginning is tough, but once you get over that breakup being single gets kind of cool and fun. Also before I was in this long relationship, I never minded being single, because I always loved all the freedom I had and believe me, I need a lot of freedom in my life, probably much more than the majority of people. So, being single can be kind of cool if you let it be cool.