First thing I did whenever I moved back into my apartment four weeks ago was to declutter the whole place like I was out of my mind (I probably was). Then next I decluttered the things I still had in my mom's basement. So, in total I must have thrown 10 or 12 bags full of stuff away that I felt I did not need anymore. I wanted to declutter anyways even though the reason that I had now was not what I was aiming for. Two years ago I already decluttered my place and threw tons of stuff away but I felt I had to repeat it. I always dreamt of having a very airy, light place with not much stuff because I hate organising all these things and keeping everything in order and cleaning is such a hassle. When you don't have much, you don't have these worries. I learned my lesson when I moved to Spain a few years back with only one suitcase, there I realised that you really don't need much at all, and ever since I try focusing on a more minimalistic lifestyle focusing on the for me essentials.
My now ex-boyfriend's apartment was full of stuff and I always hated that. In the beginning he asked me if I could help him to make his place pretty, I said I will do it if he declutters and removes everything unnecessary and what is still there from his past relationship, but he did not want do it so in the end nothing changed and he lived in his chaos. The only thing that came around was buying a new bed since he was sleeping on an air mattress for about 7 months, but that was the only thing he was able to change. I always felt overwhelmed by all the stuff he horted at his place and I really feel that this is draining your energy so I am aiming for the opposite and now I have a home like I always wanted to have it.
I think decluttering is a very important step to move forward, to get out of stuck and to leave parts of your past behind. Of course it is not easy, it hurts and it is draining but after decluttering, you will feel a whole lot better and more energetic for sure. Believe me, I know! When I was younger, I was always holding on to possessions and stuff and it took all my energy away. I live so much better since I focus on the for me essentials and since I am not overwhelmed anymore by stuff and belongings. I say no to the kind of consumerism that is so spread in our Western society. I refuse to hop on that boat ever again because it leaves you with tons of things you don't need, it is expensive and it drains you of energy you can use to focus on your own self-development and self-care, energy you can use to create things by yourself instead of just always consuming what is there already.
Your home is important
For me having a home where I feel well is one of the most important things ever. It was one of the reasons why I left Barcelona because when sharing apartments with too many other people and just randomly living together won't make a place feel like home at all. I hated that, I knew that someday I want to work from home as a self-employed designer, so the most important thing is to create a space that really feels like home for you. We all have different priorities when it comes to our living spaces and for me I want to have it light and airy, with lots of daylight shining in, white furniture, natural materials like wicker, sheep furs and wooden materials. I enjoy a clean and minimalistic space, less is more but I still want it comfortable. I hate snobbish places, as stylish as they can be, I would never feel like it is a home. I think creating a nice home where you feel happy and well, does not have to cost a lot. I guess what matters is that you have a good eye for aesthetics. I spent very little money on my place and people usually walk in and love it here, so once again money is not the important factor!
Moving back into my place was really hard as I already mentioned but now I am really happy here again. I still have go figure out a new routine though and I am still not back into designing but I give myself a few more days and then I will be back at it as well. I also may not be so hard on myself, it was a major shock what happened and it has only been one month ago. Well, like I said another blog post will follow but I am just not ready for it yet it seems. As soon as I am, I will write and publish it though. But as we all know, some things just take time.
So I got back into my breakfast routine again thankfully which is really important for feeling well and being energised for your day. I bought a soda-stream so I can make my own sparkling water and don't have to carry heavy water bottles anymore and it was such a good invention that I made for my old new home. I still have to stock up on groceries and spices but all of that will follow step after step. I moved back into my old place and now I slowly start taking good care of myself again like I did whenever I was still living with him. I can create my own happiness from now on once again.