The Wellness Edition No.68 // What do you really want?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about if I truly follow my core desires, if I really do the things that I really want. You ever realised that we tend to procrastinate and not take action because we have not figured out yet what we really want? Of course it is also fear holding us back but I think another important factor is indecisiveness. I guess that is one major reason why I still have not opened my shop yet, I am kind of indecisive. I think about things like, do I really want to start with selling physical products, do I want to sell digital products first on Etsy, do I really want to sell art prints and later on handmade jewelry? Part of me is screaming, yes that is exactly what I want while another part is not ready to decide on anything lately it seems.

On another note, I also realised that I am still very prone to people-pleasing and that also shows that I fall back into the old habit of trying to please others instead of asking myself ‘hey Phyllis, what is it that you actually really want?’ and while I realised that I decided exploring this topic is worth an article for The Wellness Edition. So I think it is important to consciously ask yourself on a frequent basis ‘what do I really want?’. Because once you figured out what you really want and don’t want, then it is less likely that you will agree on things that you actually don’t want.

Ever since I was a kid, I was often pushed into things and situations that certainly were not what I wanted but I ended up there because that was what for example my parents wanted, no wonder I became such a people-pleaser who never really figured out what I actually really wanted and not wanted. I am not playing a blame your parents blame game here, of course they only meant well but as I had little to no self-esteem at that time, I also did not dare to say ‘hey, sorry but that is not actually what I want’.

So my conclusion is that we should ask ourselves on a daily basis if our decisions and our actions are congruent with what we really want or not want because if we don’t ask ourselves this seemingly simple question, then we will end up in situations we actually never wanted to be in, in jobs that we never wanted, in relationships we never intended to have and in general we will just be people-pleasers if we don’t take the responsibility for our wants, needs, actions and happiness - if we don’t claim it, someone else will and chances are high that we will be very unhappy with the results and consequences.

So, ask yourself ‘what do I really want?’ and then act to it accordingly.

Much love,

Phyllis