graphic designer and illustrator blogging about design and self-care

The Love Files No.1 // Is Love Overrated?

The Love Files No.1 // Is Love Overrated?

A few months ago I promised to introduce a new blog topic where I write about love and relationships. As you might remember, my past few weeks were a bit stressful and I was very busy so I kind of forgot about ‘The Love Files’ until a friend messaged me on Instagram asking when I get finally started with it.

Truth is love and relationships sparked lots of discomfort in my life in the past and I made many bad choices when it came to this. I caused myself tons of misery when I surrounded myself with men who certainly did not have the best in mind when it came to being with me. Of course it was my fault because I did not realise how self-destructive my choice of lovers, aquaintances and releationshp partners actually was. It took me many years for realisation and it was also a seriously painful process or better to say it still is. I bettered myself here and now only get involved with men who I would not define as serious pricks but it took ages for me to realise what is acutally going on.

So, back to the main question of this blog post. Is love overrated? Is love something that gets too centered in our society? Let’s face it, in the past people did not marry for ‘love’, they married because they had to. Are marriage and love really going together most of the time still today? I wonder! I still have the theory that people get married and have families because that’s what you are still kind of expected to do.

The Love Files // Phylleli (design studio, self-care blog)

These days I often think love in a romantical sense is overrated because the older you get, the more bad experiences you had (as your prospective partners), the more screwed up you are and the harder it is to commit to love and a serious relationship. I am not saying it is something that is not possible but it takes a lot of emotional work, commitment and dedication. And that is where the problem starts. Most people nowadays are too self-centered and self-absorbed to truly commit to someone else. Often I get the feeling everyone wants just fun and play but as soon as things get serious people tend to run away as fast as they can.

Self-love certainly is the key to be able to commit to someone else and when self-love is lacking commitment cannot happen. Maybe romantical love is kinda overrated because so many people face serious issues here and don’t realise where this actually stems from, a lack of love for themselves.

I don’t have an answer to the question that I actually put up here but at least it helps to make your own thoughts about it whenever you ask yourself a rhetorical question. I think our society looks at love pretty much just from the perspective of romantical love and that is a problem. There exist so many forms of love that have nothing to do with the romantical love that gets glamourized in the media all the time. And maybe that’s where people should start. Look at everything and everyone in your life that is present that you love and don’t focus on that perfect partner (who does not exist anyways cause nobody is perfect and that’s good) that is missing. You don*t need a “better half” to complete you. If you can’t complete yourself and feel like something is missing in your heart and soul, no other person can do it for you either. So I think the best thing to do is to focus on self-love and once this got sorted out romantic love can follow.

The Love Files // Tokyo and India

The Love Files // Tokyo and India

The Freelance Issue No. 16 //I can create everything that I visualise

The Freelance Issue No. 16 //I can create everything that I visualise