The Wellness Edition No.39 // As I began to love myself, my relationship with everyone changed (Phylleli)
Do you love yourself? Can you truly say yes here?! I hope you can, now in retroperspective I can honestly say that I did not for way too long and that took me even longer to figure this out. Even though you could assume loving yourself is a simple act and also figuring out if you lack it. Nope, for me it was not a simple thing…it took me a very long time and I have come very far already compared to where I was still a few years ago. After talking to many people and reading blogs I realised that I am not the only one struggling here, that actually many people struggle and I get the feeling that especially women struggle a lot.
And it is absolutely true, when you love yourself it will heavily influence all your relationships. People will still try to cross your boundaries or to treat you like shit but if you love yourself you just won’t let this happen anymore because with a healthy sense of self-love you walk out and you are able to say no when people constantly try to cross your lines. Also with the new ability of saying no and walking out of toxic relationships, you won’t be a people-pleaser anymore. Score for you! You will be a people-pleaser as long as you don’t feel worthy enough to say no to things/situtations/relationships/friendships you actually do not even want but as soon as you change your mindset and feelings about yourself, pleasing people will not be your goal anymore, which is a good thing. And then relationships will change. Your relationships will greatly improve and this will lift your feeling of self-worth and self-love even higher and people who only drain you or only are interested in being with you as long as they get any benefits from you, yea those nasty folks will be gone! Hooray, win win for sure!
Not only your relationship with others will change, your relationship with yourself will drastically improve, and that is so important. You won’t be able to put yourself down anymore with negative self-talk, neither with self-destructive behaviour because when you love yourself you also set boundaries to prevent whatever goes against you in the end. It is incredible how something so profound and in theory so simple can be such a struggle for us but hey, that’s the way it is, we are just humans shaped by personal experiences and traumas and then these struggles come up. But the good thing is once you are aware of it and put the energy into working on yourself, you can change it. And that’s what we want. Changing for the better, becoming happier and healthier and being able to enjoy all the good things life can offer to us.